Most people get monkeys on their back,
but I get a Gremlin.
It starts out small–I barely notice he’s there.
He spurs me on with minxish glee.
He wheedles and needles me,
till I can’t sit still.
He turns my blood from a simmer to a boil.
My thoughts run like quicksilver.
Grandiose ideas inflate me,
a balloon of ego and nonsense.
Nagging irritation and frustration
builds to rage,
and I become a monster.
I wake up to a tremendous weight on me–
he is now sitting on my chest
and fear sets in.
I am oppressed,
overwhelmed with panic and dread.
I look around, and see that I’m alone.
No-one can stand to be near me.
I need to repair the damage I’ve done,
the devastation I’ve caused
to those I love most.
But this weight is crushing me.
I can’t breathe. I crave sleep. I want to run away.
I crawl to where it’s dark and quiet,
curl up and cry myself to sleep.
I succumb to the darkness